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Healthwise

BY THEODORE R. WILSON

The privately funded Air France flight has brought Rock Hudson home--to the privacy of the UCLA Medical Center where, sequestered, he wishes to receive treatment and care. As you read this, much additional information in the media may have changed the current state of his condition. I am inclined

to think not. The media have

played out the story for the time being. And he needs the rest.

I first remember seeing Rock Hudson in Magnificent Obsession when I was young. His overwhelming presence filled the screen. His handsomeness was literally breathtaking. Human men didn't look like him. A new movie star in Cinemascope. Then he appeared in contrast to that troubled, electric James Dean in Giant, solidifying his image as the Right American. Pillow Talk added the icing and the humility.

No movie authority, I suspect his fade from the big Screen was more a product of being too good looking rather than having average acting talent. Whether you liked him or not, when he was in a scene his youthful looks took all your attention. I doubt that many an actress or actor wanted to play opposite him; his eyes or smile could upstage the best. Had he the proclivity he could have beaten that other actor to the Governor's Mansion, possibly the White House, by ten years. A man's man.

Rumors that Rock might not be the marrying kind surfaced sometime during the Seventies. I suspect the year you first heard them is somewhere in proportion to your distance from Hollywood and/or the gay liberation movement, both of which opened such possibilities for discussion. For reasons which remain unclear, the Rock has not chosen to discuss his sexuality with me. Although other media sources have gone on record as stat ing that he is gay, out of his apparent wish to keep such information private, I believe his wishes should be respected. A part of every gay and lesbian understands the fears underlying public disclosure of one's sexual orientation.

However, should the rumors be factually accounted for, what better evidence do we have for the folly of closeted lives? We fool only those who wish to wish to be fooled for as long as they want to be fooled."

That was until this thing called AIDS appeared, which hones in real fast on sexual transmission, and thus orientation, as being a probable source of the disease. My guess is the Rock had planned to go on acting the male lead role as long as he

Rock of ages

could, allowing film historians to discuss his sexual orientation, should they choose, long after he had succumbed to some safe disease associated with mainstream America and the aging process.

AIDS took away his hiding place. As it will take away ours should we encounter it. When I first heard that he was receiving treatment at the Pasteur Institute for reported liver cancer, I said "sure." Having read the excellent series in the New York Native called "Going to Paris to Live," I knew he, like many gay men, had hooked his ladder to the hopes of HPA-23. All the writing on HPA-23 indicates experimental

that it is an

ceptions can have a serious, detrimental effect. More often than not it is the sexuual identification and all that it implies which an individual fears discussing, rather than the AIDS diagnosis. Avoidance becomes a source of heightened anxiety which is not what a person needs when he is ill.

"Trying to pass" takes a lot of energy which should be directed at healing. Pity poor Rock Hudson's publicist whose job it was to do just that. Did he really think he would pull it off with the whole nation watching and snooping?

Playing for time can result in increased anger and alienation as the individual's friends and family won-

"AIDS took away his hiding place, as it will

take away ours should we encounter it...."

drug with yet to be determined success, that it appears to work best when an individual is in the early stages of the AIDS process. muted statements about a Observation photos, and diagnosis having been confirmed a year earlier, suggest he is not in the early stages. Like just about every other male individual diagnosed with AIDS, including IV drug abusers and hemophiliacs, the Rock is going to have to face the issue.

You know how we say that "we know," that we have a sixth sense about a stranger's sexuality. In the same vein did I have a gut reaction about the meaning of the Paris flight.

I have now known many men with AIDS. Each has exhibited similar behavior, less dramatic perhaps, but with the same intent. First they say, "I will tell my friends, family and employer I have something else."

Yes, it is understandably human to want to deny a terminal illness. Having pneumonia, let's say, is time limited and allows room for hope. It also meets society's standards for an acceptable disease, as does liver cancer. Poeple with liver cancer and pneumonia are not bad people. Misfortunate, yes, but not bad. Revealing a diagnosis of liver cancer or pneumonia doesn't risk the real or imagined fear of disaffection which AIDS bring.

As a social worker, this is often a source of conflict for me. I certainly understand the wish and the need for another explanation. I understand the space needed to allow an individual time to adjust and begin coping. Yet, I know that de-

der why he is not improving faster, why he doesn't seem to want them around or shuns their questions and concerns for "fear of being caught a time when he needs the with his diagnosis down." At support and participation of those who care for him, he drives them away. Rather than allowing the professional staff the time and opportunity to educate the people important to him, he tries to make sure the communication between the hospital staff and his significant others is limited and superficial. The widening erroneous conclusion that gap often results in the the individual wants to "go it alone."

Why didn't Rock Hudson go to Paris six months ago when he was actively able to participate in care rather than when he had to arrive on a litter? It just may have proved more productive than spending it' with Linda Evans.

The Rock Hudson events of the last weeks are another reminder of the shoddy treatment the media have given individuals, a community, and this disease. Sure there are a few good reporters who gave the story some context and perspective. But do you really believe that it would have been the front page story, the local TV news story three nights running, if the underlying story had not been "let's get the goods on the Rock"? Repeatedly we see the same combination of elements: "Mysterious disease" + "Sexual transmission" + (now add) "Superstar" = "Sin, sex, and dues." All of this could have been avoided had Rock Hudson held a news conference and announced that he had AIDS, would be seek-

ing treatment, and wished the nation's support. The public doesn't like to be fooled, and is generally compassionate if it is leveled with. The Rock gave the nation the opportunity to titter and talk because he was not open and honest from the beginning..

As we say to all persons newly diagnosed: Be honest and upfront with those who care--it will save you immeasurable future expense and confusion. Let the chips fall now, when you have control, and we can put them back together. Frankly, the Rock could have used me a year ago.

Special mention needs to be made regarding local six and eleven o'clock news coverage. It is increasingly clear to me that local newscasters have absolutely no wish to inform and educate.

Talking with persons who were interviewed by local media, hearing what they said, and then seeing what was edited for showing, confirms my suspicions. We need to remember that we are under no obligation to agree to interviews, even when high pressured, when we are pretty sure the intent is gossip and community slander rather than news and information. How many of us have to get burned before this lesson is learned?

Thank you, Rock. Not for having AIDS. We are saddened that you do. We wish it on no one. But your star status, your all-American appeal, your all-male image, is going to make it so much easier for others.

The young man in the hospital who had not been out of his room for a week grabbed his IV pole and made it to the nurse's station to ask if they had heard the news. The value society places on you gives this disease credibility, legitimacy and acceptability in ways only a superstar can. Your brothers benefit from your position. You bear witness in ways we could not have asked of you to the struggle shared by thousands of Brothers. Our prayers and good wishes are with you. "Get some rest.

(Ted Wilson is chairperson of the Health Issues Taskforce [HIT] and a social worker with the AIDS Clinic at University Hospitals.

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